Sunday, March 6, 2011

Relationship Status

You can be in a relationship, single, in a common law relationship, in an open relationship or it can be complicated. Regardless, I recommend that you think carefully before changing your relationship status.

I don’t want to tell you to not change your relationship status because some people who are married or are committed to someone else may want to display that. My only concern is when people change from “in a relationship” to “single” and visa versa every time they have a crush on someone.

I don’t know about you, but with my friends, relationships aren’t ‘official’ until they are on facebook. I think this is absolutely insane. I made the mistake of changing my relationship status once in my life, and I will never do it again. Here is why.

When you break up with that person, it sucks having to change it to single. For some reason people feel the need to comment on it and ask what happened and if you are ok. No, I am not ok and if I wanted to talk to you about it I would have told you personally and not via my profile.

Unlike other aspects on Facebook, I don’t know how “wrong” it is to change your relationship status. Socially, it is not unacceptable to be single, or in a relationship. The only reason I bring it up is because as you mature, you many not want to display your love life to the rest of the world.   
This can be an interesting debate because people feel differently about the subject. Tell me what you think! I will leave you with an amazing article in Time Magazine.

Vanessa


14 comments:

  1. I find it crazy how many people pay attention to your status. I made the mistake once of changing my status and I will never again. I changed my status to "single" and I didn't hear the end of it. I have never changed my status since. I agree with you; people should really think about changing their status.

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  2. The relationship status on FB is how people learn about each other, which is kind of creepy. A few years ago, my boyfriend and I ended it, but we both had our facebooks set so that any changes in relationship status wouldn't show up on anyone's newsfeed. This ended up being a bigger problem than people commenting as many people didn't know what had happened and contiuned to think we were together. I think the problems with the 'relationship status' go both ways.

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  3. I agree with this, it can only cause problems on the future. I think if people are your friends they know what your relationship status is so there is no need to post it.

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  4. I find changing my status a lot simpler than explaining to people that I am not longer with someone so they can stop asking me how things are going with them and whether I'm bringing her to a dinner/party/movie etc.

    I guess I just find it better to have that piece of info about me out there then have the same painful awkward conversation 30 times. It seems either way it'll happen, whether as a comment on your new "single" status, or as a "actually she ripped my heart out, so no I don't think we'll be going skiing together this weekend, but thanks for asking".

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  5. How about the infamous "It's complicated" relationship status option?! Maybe I'm being a little insensitive here, but I can't believe anyone would even consider making this their status. Could there be a better way to make an already 'complicated' situation even more difficult than inviting all your 'friends' to talk about your life turmoil.

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  6. It is a very good adviced that i did not think before. I changed my status to single and some people were posting things like, "sorry" or "are you ok"? That made me feel, sad.I did not blame them, because I was the one who decided to make that public. i am going to commit myself to change that status and be more careful with the info i post on f.b. Thanks for the advice again.

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  7. This is going to sound really lame, but one of my biggest concerns whenever I went through a break-up was always having to change my relationship status. I never really listed it back to "single", I preferred to just get rid of it entirely. Even so, people notice right away and I would get inundated with texts and phone calls with friends inquiring about what happened. I absolutely hate fielding those sorts of questions, so now I subscribe to the "just don't put anything" mentality.

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  8. I agree with you, Vanessa. I don't put my status on my FB anymore either, because, to counteract what Greg said, I found myself having to explain to MORE people what happened. People think that because you change your status it's all of a sudden a free-for-all to ask what happened.

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  9. I agree it's not a good idea unless you are in a serious relationship, married or you don't mind having a breakup broadcasted. I have facebook friends who are in their late twenties and are STILL changing their relationship status's monthly...it's embarressing.

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  10. This is exactly why I don't have Facebook. I would really rather people not know anything about my life. This is partly because I'm insensitive and don't really care much about other peoples lives. I really couldn't care less who just broke up with who, and what friends ended up getting together. I think Facebook makes people care too much about stuff that isn't their business. We all should use discression on what information we post, cause at some point it will come back to bite you.

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  11. I agree that people use Facebook for the wrong reasons and get involved in other people's lives when it's none of their business. I refuse to change my relationship status because of everyone commenting when they don't actually care. The people that are close to me already know so why would I have to make it "official" on Facebook.

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